Even though my h insists that he had no feelings for either woman and never stopped loving me, how to I believe that when he talked about me to 2 women he barely knew, his wife of 35 years, our marriage, our life, our sex life!

For awhile it all really threw me down in a pit. I felt like I had put tremendous effort into being a great wife, and he chose a whore who was the polar opposite of me.. It made me wonder if I had any good qualities at all if I could lose a competition with THAT. I now have more understanding that she was NOT competition. He was reacting to brokenness in HIMSELF. She was a symptom of HIS disease process, and he considers her the biggest mistake of his life. And that’s how most men end up seeing their OW. Who wants to live the rest of their life knowing they are someone’s “BIGGEST MISTAKE”. Not me!

Does that make it harder or easier to take? that’s a tough one. In some ways easier, because she is clearly not someone that he would ever consider in “real life”. If he was single tomorrow, someone like her would not even get a second look, as she doesn’t meet any of the criteria he has for wife and mother. On the other hand, there is nothing that makes the feeling of betrayal easier to take. While I am glad that I compare more favorably in EVERY category, it also makes me angry that he could stoop that low and would even want to do so.

My h was broken too, she had him believe I broke him and that she was saving him from the clutches of his wife. I too started with my h with nothing, she wouldn’t have stayed with my h given the chance if he had nothing. She wants someone that can buy the expensive things she wants. She is very materialistic. He flattered her with the things he bought her and paid for her. He would never have been able t keep up with her demands. She played with his ego, and he liked it because he was feeling depressed about life, she made him feel better. (más…)