If there’s one thing that comes out of all the relationship research, it’s that if you are not over your ex, your chances of finding love again are halved.

Energetically cutting ties so you are not too positive or too negative about your ex and your previous relationship is vital.

Watch: There are common mindsets women have towards dating when coming out of a toxic relationship or divorce. Story continues after video.

I can speak from personal experience too, where I was once on the date from hell miksi puerto rican-naiset pitГ¤vГ¤t valkoisista miehistГ¤. It was not long enough after a breakup. All was going well until my date asked about my previous relationship. I just started crying and couldn’t stop, and he spent the date consoling me. Needless to say, a second date was not on the cards.

3. Write a letter to your ex.

Try writing a really honest letter to your ex without holding back – let loose and really give your ex a piece of your mind or clear the air and confess the mistakes that you made in the relationship. When you are done, put the letter away. Don’t send it. This letter is for you.

Write a letter like this once a week or once a month and keep it in a special place that only you know about. Putting your feelings on paper will help to defuse your emotions, and over time, reviewing your letters will allow you to see the change in yourself – and how you are putting the past behind you.

4. Reassign blame.

It’s time to take the sting, emotion and blame out of why the relationship ended. Instead of blaming your partner for the split (which leads to anger and frustration) or blaming yourself (which leads to sadness, insecurity, and self-doubt), blame the relationship itself. (más…)